Working mothers cautioned against lifestyle competition, living beyond their means

A gender advocate, Adetoun Dally, has cautioned working mothers against unhealthy social competition, warning that the pursuit of lifestyles beyond their means is increasing financial pressure, stress and family instability.
Ms Dally, immediate past president of the Women Community in Africa and founder of the Children Impact and Development Initiative, gave the advice in an interview on Friday in Abuja.
She said many families were falling into financial difficulties by trying to match the lifestyles, schools, housing standards, and spending habits of friends, colleagues, and other households around them.
According to her, family decisions should be guided by available income and genuine priorities rather than efforts to project wealth or maintain appearances before friends, relatives and wider society.
“Do not try to always go beyond your economic capacity just to create an impression that all is well. There is a need for moderation and contentment to remain financially balanced,” she said.
Ms Dally said that competition over children’s clothing, school choices, accommodation and household expenditures could derail couples’ financial plans and place additional emotional and economic burdens on working parents.
The advocate also urged working mothers struggling to balance employment, childcare and domestic responsibilities to maintain honest communication with their husbands whenever responsibilities became physically or emotionally overwhelming.
Ms Dally said that seeking assistance from a spouse should never be interpreted as weakness or failure, emphasising that parenting and family well-being remain shared responsibilities between both partners.
She encouraged working mothers to communicate their limitations clearly and ask for help when needed, rather than pushing themselves beyond their physical, emotional and mental capacities.
“Being strong does not mean that you must carry everything alone. When you are weak or exhausted, those around you should know, and you should be able to ask for help,” she said.
She further called for greater cooperation between couples in childcare and domestic responsibilities, noting that husbands should be encouraged to participate more actively in managing family affairs.
Ms Dally, however, advised women to approach discussions about support respectfully and constructively, cautioning against letting requests for assistance turn into unnecessary conflicts at home.
The gender advocate also urged employers and policymakers to promote family-friendly workplace policies that would enable working parents to balance professional obligations with childcare and domestic responsibilities.
(NAN)
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