A gender advocate, Adetoun Dally, says fear of stigma, societal condemnation and expectations of masculinity prevent many Nigerian men from reporting domestic violence and seeking professional assistance from relevant services.

Ms Dally, speaking in an interview in Abuja on Tuesday, said expectations that men must remain strong and emotionally invulnerable discourage male victims from speaking out.

She said the situation was troubling in a patriarchal society where men were traditionally regarded as formidable figures who should not show weakness, even when subjected to abuse at home.

According to her, some men in abusive relationships suffer silently because reporting their experiences could expose them to ridicule, disbelief and questions about their ability to fulfil traditional expectations of manhood.

Ms Dally said expectations that men must not cry or display vulnerability had created an “alpha male” mentality that discouraged victims from seeking help from trained professionals and support organisations when necessary.

“This created the alpha male persona—men don’t cry and must be strong, and lots is hindering men from speaking out and getting the necessary help,” she said.

She said such expectations were often instilled in boys from childhood, making it difficult for them to acknowledge abuse or communicate their emotional struggles as adults in Nigerian society today.

The advocate said male victims could experience verbal, physical, emotional and psychological abuse, while their inability to speak out further complicated their difficult personal, family, and social circumstances and isolation.

Ms Dally said some men endured abusive relationships for years, with certain victims reportedly postponing separation or divorce until their children were grown and emotionally mature enough to understand their situation eventually.

“I have heard instances of men having to remain silent, waiting for their children to grow up before they take steps towards separation or divorce,” she said, describing their difficult experiences.

She said concerns about children’s welfare, fear of losing access to them and the consequences of breaking up families sometimes influenced decisions to remain in abusive relationships quietly without seeking assistance.

The advocate said those experiences showed domestic violence was not exclusively a problem affecting women, noting that families, law enforcement agencies and support organisations had struggled to acknowledge male victims nationwide.

However, she said growing awareness and changing institutional responses were addressing the misconception, adding that law enforcement agencies increasingly recognised domestic violence as a criminal matter requiring investigations and legal action.

“Our law enforcement agencies are evolving from the norm and now know that domestic violence is not an issue to be resolved at home but must be treated as a criminal case,” Ms Dally said.

She said support organisations were becoming more aware of the need to assist victims irrespective of gender, adding that existing domestic violence laws did not discriminate based on gender.

“The existing laws do not discriminate against any gender. Handling domestic violence against men is not different from handling that of women,” she said, emphasising equal legal treatment under law consistently.

Ms Dally called for more training and retraining of law enforcement personnel and professionals handling domestic violence cases, emphasising the need to strengthen reporting channels and protect victims from humiliation and stigma.

She also called for adequate support systems, public sensitisation and changing societal attitudes, urging families, community leaders, law enforcement agencies and support organisations to create safe spaces for victims without fear.

The advocate said addressing domestic violence against men required public awareness, effective legal responses and professional support, adding that proper case handling and assistance were essential to tackling abuse affecting everyone.

‎(NAN)