Ex-Miss Nigeria wants girls taught emotional intelligence, self-respect early

A former beauty queen, Chioma Obiadi, says parents and guardians have a duty to raise girls who know their values and boundaries.
The 2016 Miss Nigeria said in an interview in Lagos on Monday that such girls must understand that they deserve love that uplifts rather than costs them their worth. According to the 40th Miss Nigeria, such girls will have honour and integrity in adulthood and contribute meaningfully to societal development.
Ms Obiadi said that the girl child must understand that her worth is inherent and must never be negotiated in the name of love.
She noted that when young girls are taught emotional intelligence and self-respect early, they will learn that love begins from within, not from external validation.
The 30-year-old beauty queen noted that, on the contrary, many young girls are made vulnerable because of deep-rooted societal expectations and unequal power dynamics.
“Girls are often socialised to associate love with endurance, compromise, and emotional labour, while boys are more frequently encouraged to lead or assert control.
“This imbalance, combined with peer pressure and social media narratives, creates an environment where girls may feel obligated to give more than they are ready to, emotionally, financially, or physically, just to feel chosen or accepted. In such situations, what is presented as love can easily become manipulation,” she said.
The 40th Miss Nigeria urged young girls not to feel threatened or pressured by love, but rather to have the freedom of heart to accept or reject.
“My message to young girls is both simple and deeply important. Love should never cost you your safety, your future, or your peace of mind. Love does not come with ultimatums, threats, or pressure. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, rushed, or afraid of saying no, that is not love,” she said.
She further called on young girls to be encouraged to speak up, to seek guidance from trusted adults, and to understand that saying no was not a weakness but a strength.
“Love, in its truest form, is patient, protective, and empowering. Anything that diminishes a girl’s dignity, confidence, or sense of self is not love. It is control,” Ms Obiadi stated.
(NAN)
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